In an instant.....

In an instant.....those three words came bring so much happiness or so much sadness or so much uncertainty. Kevin and I experienced those 3 words yesterday morning.

On Sunday night, Kevin was rocking Avery to sleep when he called me in there to look at something. She had a knot on the back of her neck, close to the base of her skull. I start poking and pushing it, trying to determine what it was, because I am a doctor you know! :) Then the worse starts rolling through my mind....is it a brain tumor, is it the same thing that killed the actress Natasha Richardson? We decide not to take her to the ER because her behavior has been normal. Kevin tells me not to worry, and he proceeds to put Avery to sleep. I go back to bed. Of course, I'm laying there crying, not knowing what it is and wishing I could just make it go away. I go back in the living room and take Avery away from Kevin and tell him I want her to sleep with me. So I take her to bed with me, and I cry myself to sleep with her constantly asking "waf wong momma"? (what's wrong momma) We get up the next morning and the knot is still there, no change in the shape or size at all. I call and make her an appt. My awesome pediatrician comes in to check Avery. She is REALLY feeling the knot, which happens to be a swollen lymph node, and discovers others that are swollen also. She says it could be this or that, but then she said the dreaded words...."But we really need to check her for Lymphoma". WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? Lymphoma.....that NEVER crossed my mind as I was trying to diagnose her the night before. So we have the option of taking a biopsy of the one in her neck, ride it out two weeks (because she does have an ear infection we are treating) or we can get a chest XRAY. Apparently if it's Lymphoma, it will show up in the nodes in her chest. So of course we opt for the XRAY. Kevin and I are so taken aback by what just conspired that we just kinda listen to what she says, look at each other and somehow meander our way down the hall to the imaging center. In an instant....our world could have been turned completely upside down. In an instant...life as we know it, might no longer be. I sent up a prayer asking for peace at that very moment, and I got it. It was honestly like a rush of air over me. I decided that whatever the result was going to be in the next few minutes that God was going to take care of us. Even today I don't know that I feel the same way, but at THAT moment, God was taking care of me when I needed it most.
Avery went back to "take a picture". And she was perfectly still....did not move an inch. She was so proud of herself. We had to wait about 5-10 minutes for the results, and I could have hugged the tech's neck when she said it was all clear. Thank you God!
I must say that Kevin was sick to his stomach last night, and he admitted it was because of the emotions of the day. That was his baby girl. I haven't seen him that way since I was probably pregnant with Brody. Such a good daddy!
SO....it seems that Avery is fine. The swollen nodes are probably a result of the ear infection, but we do have to keep an eye on it. So say a prayer or two for Avery that all continues to be OK. Until next time....