In an instant.....

In an instant.....those three words came bring so much happiness or so much sadness or so much uncertainty. Kevin and I experienced those 3 words yesterday morning.

On Sunday night, Kevin was rocking Avery to sleep when he called me in there to look at something. She had a knot on the back of her neck, close to the base of her skull. I start poking and pushing it, trying to determine what it was, because I am a doctor you know! :) Then the worse starts rolling through my mind....is it a brain tumor, is it the same thing that killed the actress Natasha Richardson? We decide not to take her to the ER because her behavior has been normal. Kevin tells me not to worry, and he proceeds to put Avery to sleep. I go back to bed. Of course, I'm laying there crying, not knowing what it is and wishing I could just make it go away. I go back in the living room and take Avery away from Kevin and tell him I want her to sleep with me. So I take her to bed with me, and I cry myself to sleep with her constantly asking "waf wong momma"? (what's wrong momma) We get up the next morning and the knot is still there, no change in the shape or size at all. I call and make her an appt. My awesome pediatrician comes in to check Avery. She is REALLY feeling the knot, which happens to be a swollen lymph node, and discovers others that are swollen also. She says it could be this or that, but then she said the dreaded words...."But we really need to check her for Lymphoma". WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? Lymphoma.....that NEVER crossed my mind as I was trying to diagnose her the night before. So we have the option of taking a biopsy of the one in her neck, ride it out two weeks (because she does have an ear infection we are treating) or we can get a chest XRAY. Apparently if it's Lymphoma, it will show up in the nodes in her chest. So of course we opt for the XRAY. Kevin and I are so taken aback by what just conspired that we just kinda listen to what she says, look at each other and somehow meander our way down the hall to the imaging center. In an instant....our world could have been turned completely upside down. In an instant...life as we know it, might no longer be. I sent up a prayer asking for peace at that very moment, and I got it. It was honestly like a rush of air over me. I decided that whatever the result was going to be in the next few minutes that God was going to take care of us. Even today I don't know that I feel the same way, but at THAT moment, God was taking care of me when I needed it most.
Avery went back to "take a picture". And she was perfectly still....did not move an inch. She was so proud of herself. We had to wait about 5-10 minutes for the results, and I could have hugged the tech's neck when she said it was all clear. Thank you God!
I must say that Kevin was sick to his stomach last night, and he admitted it was because of the emotions of the day. That was his baby girl. I haven't seen him that way since I was probably pregnant with Brody. Such a good daddy!
SO....it seems that Avery is fine. The swollen nodes are probably a result of the ear infection, but we do have to keep an eye on it. So say a prayer or two for Avery that all continues to be OK. Until next time....

I'm amazed!

Just when I start to think there are not many good people in the world, I am surprised! I went to lunch with some friends yesterday, and one of them showed me a letter from an anonymous source that had been sent to her employer. The letter simply stated that he/she (I will use he for ease's sake) had accidentally caused minor damage to one of the company's vehicles a couple years ago, and he left without reporting the damage. He is a Christian, and God has laid it on his heart to seek forgiveness from the company in order to rectify the situation. He enclosed $1000 cash, asked for forgiveness and that was it. You cannot tell me God was not at work on this individual. How many people would go back after that long and try to do the right thing? And how many people would just send that kind of cash in the mail....especially in the shape the economy is in today? Well, I'll tell you....only the kind of person that God has touched. I have no doubt in my mind that this person is finally at peace with what he done. He has been forgiven! I hope we all can learn from this....

Mixed bag

I wasn't sure what to title this post. I have emotions ranging from literally one end of the spectrum to the other. I have a good friend, Kerrie, who is battling cancer again. She went through the fight of her life a year or two ago with breast cancer, and now she's been struck with it again. But thankfully, it has not spread to other areas of her body. It is confined to one small place. Praise God for that. But then I have to wonder why this always happens to the good people. She is one of the best people I know, unwavering in her faith. Not a mean bone in her body. And she has to go through this. And then you have me....I do falter, greatly! Every day! I don't deserve the wonderful things I have, yet God continues to bless me. Thank you God!
A dear friend at church shared her testimony yesterday of facing the possibility of cancer a few months ago. She is the same as Kerrie. Very dedicated to God and unwavering in her faith. The kind of Christian that I strive to be every day, but fail miserably at. I cried at the news....rejoicing in the fact that she was ok, sad over the fact that Kerrie is fighting again, and I was reminded once again that I have a LONG way to go, and I am in the fight of my life just trying to be the kind of Christian God wants me to be. It is a daily struggle, and I'm reminded that God never promised life would be easy, but that He did promise He would be with us throughout it all! I hope you all have a blessed day!!!!!

Have I raised a bully?

I've always heard that girls are meaner than boys, and I thought people were just being silly when they said that. But now I know it's the truth. As you read the post, keep in mind she's only 2 years old.

My sweet, little Avery....or my not-so-sweet little bully Avery...is causing some heartache for me right now. When I picked her up from daycare yesterday, her teacher told me she had not had a good day. She was hitting other kids and making grunting noises (didn't know I raised a pig) and if a kid would hit her, she would just have a complete meltdown. WHAT? A girl having a dramatic meltdown when things don't go her way? I can't imagine....
But anyway, I picked her up and it looked like she was getting sick, or at least that's what her eyes were telling me. They looked weak, watery, and her right one was matted a little bit. But off we go to the pizza party, and she is A-OK! Running from one end of the room to the other and having a jolly ol' time. When we get home, I tell her daddy what all happened at school, and the only thing he heard in that conversation was that someone hit his baby girl. So he proceeds to sit her down and tell her that if a child hits her, it's ok for her to hit back (we do teach our children to NEVER instigate a fight, but you must always defend yourself). And like father, like daughter, all she heard was that it was OK to hit.
So off we go to daycare today, and I call to check on her. I can tell in the teacher's voice that what I'm about to hear is not gonna be good. "Well, we've had a few instances already today and she's instigated all of them". Oh dear.... a flash forward of Avery Dunn, serial killer, pops into my head. I shake it off. "She has been hitting all the other children for no reason and when they try to defend themselves by hitting back, she gets mad. She doesn't understand that they are trying to protect themselves". Silence.....I have NO idea what to say to the teacher, but "Ok, I have raised a bully. I gotta go now so I can call her daddy about this".
I call Kevin to tell him all of this, and at the same time I tell him about some good news I just got at work. Well, never mind that his daughter is turning into Avery Ali, let's talk about your work news! HELLO Kevin! Your daughter is causing fights! What is it with daddy's and their little girls? Can they seriously just get away with whatever and it be ok?

I love my husband, I really do.....

BUT.....what is he thinking?

Kevin, my dear sweet husband, is helping coach Walker's baseball team again this year. Well, you know there is NO possible way we can use the same bat we had last year. That would be just plum terrible. Walker has to have a new bat. Kevin and one of the other coaches tell me which bat to order online. Being me, I go online, read all about the bat....and all 14 reviews on the bat. Each review lists the pros and cons....you must know that ALL reviews said the bat cracks easily. One person was on his 4th bat. One customer's bat only lasted 6 innings. So I go home and tell Kevin all about the reviews. He decides he's gonna go online himself and try to find a different bat. An hour later....the magic bat is discovered. He prints off a pretty little picture of it and tells me to order it the next day after he talks to Troy (another coach) about it. He calls me and tells me to go ahead and order the first bat. Yes, the one that cracks easily. Why...I ask. "Cause the ball jumps right off that bat" and.....they have a plan. Coach Neal (the head coach) has one of those bats. I take that back...he had one. It cracked (shocker), so now he's sent it back and is waiting on a replacement. Back to the plan..... Our sweet, beloved coaches have devised a brilliant plan. We will buy 2 bats, so that we have 3 in all. We will use one bat a game, and when the first bat cracks, guess what. We have a back-up while we're waiting on the replacement. Isn't that the most spectacular plan you've ever heard? Let's sign these boys up at the White House!!!!! Oh, I forgot to mention that the bat itself is $150. And then not to mention the shipping costs to send the replacements back all season. I'm just all giddy and beside myself about this bat.

A sad weekend

Most people dread going back to work on Mondays, and I am one of them. But this time, I was ready to go back to work today. The weekend was full of nothing but sadness.

First, Ronnie "Bones" Jones died of a heart attack on Friday evening. He was the father of one of my best friends growing up. His wife, Pat, babysat me for years. He became my part-time dad. I was with them so much, that he was family to me. And my family and his would spend every Christmas and New Year's together for many years. When I would still see him out at the ball field over the last few years, he would always hug me and scoop up one of my kids to love on them. He and Pat always came to our yard sales to visit. He would be smoking that pipe and playing around with the kids. He was a great ball player. He was THE pitcher of men's fastball teams and tournaments. Everyone from miles around knew Bones. He was feared on the field. But he was such a good man, and I can't begin to tell you how much he will be missed.

And then sadly, Neil Elkins passed away. This young man fought a long and courageous battle with Leukemia. He is one year older than me, and he has left behind a beautiful wife and 2 sweet babies. Saige is 4, and I believe Cole is only a few months old. Such a terrible tragedy and such sadness.

I would just ask that you all remember these families in your prayers.