Don't call me, call 911

A couple of years ago, my company paid for several of us to be trained in CPR and trained to use the defribillator. I signed up for it. And thankfully, I have not had to use my skills to help anyone! BAHAHAHHAAHA...and this is why I laugh.
A few months ago, one of my co-workers had eaten something that she was allergic to. As you can imagine, she became violently ill. I hear people in the hall talking about what to do, so I walk out there to see what's going on. This whole time I'm just standing there, listening about what everyone thinks is wrong with her and what do we do to help her. Two ladies go into the restroom with her and we all disperse back to our offices. About 2 mintues later, it hits me! OMG! I am certified to help this lady, and I have completely forgotten that I am! Well, let me tell you something, if I have forgotten that I'm even certified to help, I can assure you I can't remember what I'm supposed to do in this case! LOL! So I'm fumbling in my desk trying to find my book, and finally I do. I run to the bathroom, book in hand, to find that one of the other certified people has already helped her. So I act all calm and open my book up, flip to the appropriate page and start reading through the orders. Yep, done that. Yep, done that. Yep, done that. Well alright, glad you got her taken care of. I'm gonna go on back to my office now. It's a running joke around here that if you need help, don't call me, call 911. Cause I sure ain't going to help you out!